Talking through the horror of Enniskillen (Story Two) - 20th Anniversary

'More could have been done for survivors'

Aileen Quinton lost her mother Alberta, 72, a former RAF nurse during the Second World War, who was at the Cenotaph to remember friends and comrades who never came back.

To mark the 20th anniversary, she says she may attend the special church services, but will not go to the Cenotaph.

After the bomb, 11 doves were added to the war memorial in memory of those killed that dreadful November day, though Aileen is unhappy about their inclusion or the lack of consultation over adding "creatures". A war memorial, in her opinion, should be dedicated to the war dead only.

"It is no longer dedicated to the fallen, there are civilians on it. It is no longer a dedicated war memorial. It used to be such 3 dignified war memorial," she said.

She remains dissatisfied with the operation to bring the IRA team responsible for the bomb to justice.

"I chose not to put any aspect of my well-being in the hands of people who have not done their homework properly," she said.

"They said there was a review started. Police Inspector Maggie Hunter made comments that there were leads being followed. That should never have been raised at a Policing Board meeting before it was discussed with the families."

Aileen said while she is able to have questions answered about her mother's death, there was "from what I can gather, no proper investigation into how she died".

If there was anything to learn from emergency services responses, that information never emerged, she said.

"It's the fact that it wasn't done as a matter of course," she said. "I don't believe there is any possibility they will find anything.

"I'm not saying anyone is bad. It's window dressing; it's very superficial. No good for me can come out of focussing on it, yet there is potential to be harmed by that sort of organisational incompetence.

"Looking back, the evil of that day remains unchanged," she said.

Reflecting on the past two decades, Aileen said she wishes she had known more about the effects of trauma, and that she had had an earlier diagnosis of ADD dyspraxia, a condition which means some people have different neurological processes to others.

"If you have this condition to the degree that I have it, you struggle with things that normal people take for granted," she said.

"Things that other people find difficult, we can do easily. There is so little understanding of it, it did not get picked up in the early days."

She said there is a feeling that the people of Enniskillen were put under pressure to recover.

"People were looking for inspiration, we were under pressure to be that inspiration," she said.

She feels there were attempts to make them feel they could "not let the side down" and to be "brave victims" who were coping.

But she pointed out that it wasn't until after the King's Cross disaster in London that telephone helplines were introduced to help people caught up in traumatic circumstances.

"I think there has been a lot of learning. People in Enniskillen never formed a group, so people are still doing things for us and with us," she said.

Aileen recalled speaking to a man who had been in the Second World War in occupied France working with the Resistance and had witnessed the Gestapo torturing to death the girl he had been working with.

She said he still has nightmares and leaps out of bed: "He had no avenue to say what happened. What a waste, the debts that we owe this guy. Somebody should have been listening to him."

She wonders about the legacy of such trauma and the impact of the damage, possibly over generations.

But Aileen believes the conspiracy of silence has to be broken. Recognition should be given for loss and empathy, she said.

"A lot of people would say the pain does not start to hit them until years later."

The notion of a "grieve-by-date" is something that she disagrees with.

But in her view there is much merit in people who have been in the same situation talking to each other.

She believes there is much to be gained from mutual support. Validation of people's feelings is important, as well as permission to have those feelings, she said.

"There is meant to be some sort of fund for victims, I don't know where that is," she said.
"I'm not sure what is on offer, and how do you make an offer of help to people. One of a lot of things that happened after the event was us meeting each other, but that was not exploited enough."

Opening up opportunities for people to talk is .important, Aileen said, and hit out at a kind of political correctness attached to bereavement.

"Time is something that allows opportunities for things to happen. The more pressure people are put under to heal, means time doesn't give a chance to heal." 8th November 2007 News Letter – 20th Anniversary of the Enniskillen War Memorial referred too as the Poppy Day Massacre and lately Bloody Sunday.